Melodramatic

I don't know how to start this post but tonight I am so melodramatic. Actually, it started when I saw the latest video of ABS-CBN Christmas Station ID Song. And suddenly, my tears just rolled down on my cheeks and I was in another world. In a world of Drama, Melancholy and Loneliness that only me and myself would understand. Honestly, I realized that I am the only person now in this world, all my siblings got their own family and kids and that sums up to the people that I have been missing most - My Parents.

Actually when you get old and especially like me that I don't have my own family; I long for my parents companion as well as their love and support. My simple tears burst into loneliness etc. I kept on crying thinking that this buckets of crying will ease the pain or even lessen a bit of what I have been miserably longing. I let this tears keep on falling so I can savor every bit of it. Until it will naturally dries up.

My realization after that melodrama is that actually I have the choice. The choice of being alone for the rest of my life and be with my parents or the choice of joining the bandwagon of what is morally and culturally right that once there is an opportunity of finding someone who can bear and rear a child for me, I will not let it go. Or maybe looking for someone who is the same as me and be partners for life. Either or.

I really don't know what's on my mind right now but what I am sure of now is that getting old or aging alone gracefully is something miserable and lonely. If this is what GODs plan for me then I will accept it wholeheartedly and maybe taking a mission or something helping for the poor in an impoverished country is what I'd like to do maybe lets say ten years from now.  But I guess only God can really tell.

For now the music stops, once again I am back at my normal self and feeling hungry "Kalurks nakakagutom pala mag emote:-) ha ha ha ha".